Hearing "Arena Cahaya" again, ten years later

"Without all of life's different seasons, what would life even mean?"

That's my own rough translation of a line from "Arena Cahaya".

Today I went to TEDxPetalingStreet.

Whenever my schedule allows, I try to attend every year. This year tickets had already sold out, but my partner Vincent Goh gave me two, so I could go with my wife. Big thanks to him, and to Jessie Ng and the whole organising and volunteer team for putting so much care into the event every year.

There were many great speakers today, each with their own story and point of view. I don't want to sum them all up in a sentence or two, because some of what they shared really deserves its own piece.

But the one I most want to write about today is Zee Avi.

Younger readers may not know her. About ten years ago, director Chiu Keng Guan's film Ola Bola came out, and its theme song, "Arena Cahaya", was sung by Zee Avi.

I loved that song back then, and I loved her voice.

If you remember, the mood in Malaysia in 2015 and 2016 wasn't good. The 1MDB scandal, street rallies, political fights, and quite a lot of tension between communities.

That was when Ola Bola came out.

A film about Malaysians of different races fighting together for the same dream, with Zee Avi's "Arena Cahaya" on top. For me at the time, it was a much-needed shot in the arm.

Listening to the song back then, I thought about Malaysia, racial harmony, and the hope we had for this country.

So when I heard TEDxPetalingStreet had invited Zee Avi to speak, I was looking forward to it. I expected her to talk about songwriting, or about flying to the US alone and going from unknown to being heard around the world.

But I'd already heard those stories ten years ago.

Today I found out that her life had another chapter I didn't know about.

A few years ago she discovered a problem with her hearing. In the end she was left with only about 60% of it, and now relies on hearing aids.

For someone who lives by music and by sound, that must have been incredibly hard to accept.

A singer whose voice once moved countless people discovers one day that she is losing the ability to hear.

What she shared today wasn't only how she dealt with her hearing, but more about how, through it all, she came to know herself again and accept herself.

After her talk, when I thought back to the words of "Arena Cahaya", they suddenly felt completely different.

Ten years ago, I heard the story of a country. Ten years later, I heard the story of one person's life.

Most of the time we hope life goes smoothly: a successful career, good health, a happy family, and ideally everything going to plan.

But life just isn't like that.

There's success and there's failure. There's gaining and there's losing. Some things we choose, and some things leave us no choice at all.

And all these different experiences, good or bad, slowly become part of who we are.

Maybe the meaning of life was never about removing every bad thing, but about still finding yourself after going through them, and carrying on.

Ten years ago, I thought that line was about a diverse Malaysia.

Ten years later, I realise it can also be about each of our lives.

The song is still the same song. It's just that the person listening has changed.